« You Are Invited! | Main | My Sockstory »
05 October, 2006Project Runway — Episode 12
Episode Twelve: The Reunion Show—Well no one got up and walked out, no one was in a drunken or drugged stupor and no one cried but I laughed a couple times so I guess it was okay. Sorry I’m a little “meh” about this episode, I was expecting more. We’ll do a quick summary.
Bonnie: “People are all, ‘You were on Project Runway! You sucked!’ And I was all, ‘Wha? No way!’”
Vincent reminds Heidi that people loving his work, his fans, oh and basically everything turns him on. Malan showed at fashion week. Angela gets mobbed by people in LA who have sympathy for her.
Kayne lost some more weight and needs to STOP TANNING! Michael got braces. Jeffrey is sporting a mullet. The four finalists are looking lovely. Laura and Heidi admire each others’ pregnantness.
Keith comes in, Heidi asks how it’s been for him. He says he’s just fine, his friends have been great, no one hates him, etc. There’s a long, uncomfortable flashback reel of him getting caught and kicked off. He talks for a while about the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy against him, and suggests that the producers planted the books in his room, but they were his books, they just put them there? I didn’t get it. He also tries to say that there’s nothing in the contract about not having fashion books and everyone is all, “OH YES THERE IS BLACK AND WHITE EXPLICITY!” Tim asks him if he thinks the outcome was fair and Keith is all, you can see in my eyes and my face I’m upset, so no, it wasn’t fair. He tries to glare them to death or something, but it doesn’t work, so he gives everyone the Eat Crap and Die Painfully grin instead.
They also ask about him leaving the production and he blames it on a production assistant pointing toward a door with her elbow or something. Heidi gets pretty testy with him and compares it to leaving the scene of an accident. While Keith is talking, everyone is clearly sympathetic toward the poor guy. I’ve never seen this much annoyance in one room before, it’s amazing!
Finally Tim puts an end to the bickering since they could talk about this 24/7 and nothing would get resolved. Heidi is all, “Yeah things are getting too hot,” and Keith goes, “I THOUGHT SO.” He doesn’t speak the rest of the show. I was hoping for a dramatic walkout. Boo.
There’s a huge clip of Tim Gunn, the walking dictionary. Definitions of words flash across the screen. It’s great. Ready for your vocab lesson, kids? Mitigating. Faux bois. Consternation. Strum und drang. Circuitous. Ambivalent. Constructivist. Grievous. Quotient. We also get to find out he is a painter and sculptor! I’m so in love with this man!
Each designer gets their little idiosyncracy showcase of clips. Laura is “Serious Ugly.” Robert is “boring.” Vincent is of course “turns me on/gets me off.” Bradley is “????” which means sound effects. (Also how hot is the newly shaved and trimmed Bradley?!)
Next we get a very uncomfortable session with Vincent in regards to his Entertainment Weekly interview (if you haven’t read this, do so immediately and then take a shower, which you will undoubtedly want to do anyway).
He admits that even though he hasn’t read any of the blogs, he HEARS that Tim is badmouthing him all over the internet. He also says the show was full of amateur designers, which of course goes over really well with everyone. He goes into this big rant about how amateur isn’t an insult, he just believes everyone’s not at a certain LEVEL of design, and that there’s a prerequisite to be at that level. They keep trying to pin him down for insulting everyone by calling them amateurs and he keeps circling the question. It’s weird. Tim says he has no idea what he’s talking about. Laura calls him delusional to his face.
There’s a big clip of Kayne the fast talker, and a hilarious Word Count thing for him vs. Miss USA. Final tally: Kayne:932, Miss USA: 7. HA! Seriously this man could be an auctioneer, he talks so fast. He says he’d like to tell himself to shut up.
Malan talks about how he got over two million supportive emails, and not one was from his family. They’re pissed because he came out at a young age, and as such, have ostracized him. Which sucks for them because I absolutely love Malan. They show a clip of his laughter and it’s HILARIOUS. Robert says it’s Cary Grant meets Eddie Munster. PERFECT!
There’s a thing between Angela and Jeffrey about the mom challenge. They show Jeffrey being a jerk to Angela’s mom again. Angela STILL doesn’t really call him out for it. Jeffrey looks like he’s really done talking about it. Angela says if they met under different circumstances they totally could have been BFF. Right Angela, and also under different circumstances I could be a millionaire with seventeen cars and my own masseuse. Some things just are never going to happen, honey.
There’s never before seen footage of Vincent being a total drama queen diva extraordinaire about some laundry. Apparently he would rather wear dirty clothes than have someone wash his $125 shirts, and he goes into a tirade filled with F words. Kayne and Michael leave the room and are all, “He crazy!” and he totally is. He goes off on some Jr. producer in a Danzig shirt. The kid just kind of shrugs. He leaves and is all, “GET ME A MUTHAF*CKIN PLANE TICKET!” And storms out of Atlas, yelling the whole time. I bet his wife just loves being married to him. What a delightful man.
Edited to add: VIDEO! Thank you Project RunGay!
They announce the winner of the BravoTV.com Fan Favorite competition and no one is suprised: MICHAEL!
Korsey and Garcia bring him a big foamcore check for $10,000. MK you aren’t lookin so hot in this picture.
The designers get a chance to ask the judges questions for the first time. Angela totally embarrasses herself by asking if her STORY were different on the dog challenge episode, if she would have been a contender for the win. Nina laughs her off the stage and they’re all, NO, HOOKER! Shall we take a moment to remember that outfit?
Yeah honey, not even Shakespeare could come up with a story to save that monstrosity. Kayne asks why they were so harsh on his couture dress when the fans loved it. MK says he has to temper his glamorama.
The blooper reel is good. A fire alarm goes off during judging. MK is HILARIOUS. “Oh THAT’S relaxing.” Making his trademark faces. I love him. A bunch of models almost pass out. Apparently Amanda is a hypochondriac. Actually, y’all, I think those girls just need some food. Seriously the producers should have milkshakes standing by for instances like this. Also Jeffrey farts a lot and loudly. Haha.
The four finalists go. Everyone speculates on who will win. They interview the season one and two designers and their answers are great.
Jay: Well the gay white guy won, then the Asian immigrant won, so that means it’s the black guy’s turn! Go team Michael!
Chloe: Michael because he’s a black male version of me.
Kara and Daniel V: Uli.
Daniel Franco: Laura for the win and for CEO of fashion.
Robert: Daniel Franco for the season two and season three win. Haha. And on that note, we’re out!
Next week: See Jeffrey’s son try to hand Tim Gunn some turtle poop and Tim let out the most adorable, “EWW!” ever heard.
Comments
Man, I'm with you. I wanted drunken debauchery, crying, slapping, and bitches getting cut.
The turtle poop thing is beyond weird. Who carries turtle poop?
Yea really why weren't they drunk? That would have loosened it up a bit.
The EW article is horrifying. Vincent has NO IDEA how nutbar he really is. And talking about himself in the 3rd person? Yipes!
I would like to motion to from this day forward we refer to Jeffrey as The Grand Mulletted Neck-Tat of Bravo.
Not to be Madame Drinky Enabler or anything, but I totally agree --- get those guys some martinis before you start rolling! Come on, even a $9 box of Vella would have more than paid for itself in comedy gold. Thanks for ruining it for everyone, LUPE.
Where the hell has Keith been tanning, Los Alamos? He looked like a dried apple doll covered in lacquer.
See, I got the impression that most of the people were sprayed w/ that fake tan stuff b/c several of them looked orangey. Kayne was by far the orangest and streakiest. Weird. He also had a white patch btwn his neck and jaw.
My question is... why did the producers force Keith to be on the reunion show? It was SERIOUSLY UGLY.
I agree: alcohol for the designers and chocolate for the models. Everyone looked so uncomfortable. How can Keith really believe his "story?" I like how it totally changed from books weren't forbidden to I was set up. Whatever. I can't wait to see who wins.
I thought it was going to be one of Laura's kids with the turtle poop. She had the turtle in her casting video on her kitchen counter crawling past her as shespoke. I can't wait for the next episode!
I'd like to know who the hell has so much money they can give a luantic 100,000. Why don't you just literally take a stack of money and flush it down a toilet. Geeze...
That guy is a pretentious indie film in progress. I think we're watching the slight rise before his second catastrophic fall driven by his own bat-ass crazy arrogance.
"...But you know, last week when Nina Garcia said to Jeffrey, ''You know what, I really like your outfit because it could go to London, Paris, or New York.'' Those remarks were to me, not Jeffrey, but they switched them to Jeffrey. I was watching it, and I looked at my wife and I go, ''Wait a minute.'' I'm over it now, though. I think more than any of the designers I'm getting enormous calls."
wow, this guy is legitimately insane.
