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27 July, 2006
Project Runway—Episode 3

Episode #3—Designer’s Best Friend starts out with Kayne telling us how excited he is that he has immunity because now he can send anything he wants down the runway and still be in. I’m hoping he doesn’t decide to bust out the sequins and the hot glue gun just yet. Katherine again reminds us that she should not have gone home last week because she didn’t want to carve their dress out of a big log, Malan forced her to. Yeah Katie, we get it. I thought we were past this!

Heidi comes on stage with the most adorable, “Yooo hoo!” I have ever heard, and tells the designers they will be creating an outfit inspired by one of fashion’s hottest accessories and that Tim will fill them in on the details in the morning. The winning and losing models come out, Moon (Malan’s model from the first challenge) goes home.

Michael interviews that “he hopes this challenge is somethin’ where we can really do somethin’.” Well, Michael thank you for being so articulate when they FINALLY gave you some camera time. Cut to the early morning hours in the girls’ apartment and Laura looking like death warmed over, she receives a note from Tim Gunn that tells them to meet him in Central Park. She looks at the girls and says, “Guys, it’s horses.”

Next scene we see them all walking through the NYC streets and who is in complete equestrian getup complete with riding pants and PEARLS? Laura. They get to Central Park and are waiting. Over the hilltop comes Tim Gunn, not on a horse, but the most adorable I’ve ever seen him, walking no less than THIRTEEN small dogs. For a moment I am annoyed that the fashion industry considers a dog an ACCESSORY, but forget my anger when I see the most adorable boston terrier ever born (you see, I have a little fashion accessory of my own).

All the designers select their dogs, and Uli is absolutely enthralled with Einstein the pug, which she adorably pronounces “Ein-shtein.” I am starting to really like Uli. Bonnie gets the boston terrier. Bradley is a little puzzled as to what he should do with a poodle, and Alison helps him out by switching dogs with him, telling him that he kind of looks like a fuzzy brown dog so they should switch. Laura is disgusted by this whole dog thing, and I’m kind of wondering how she can be grossed out by a dog when she has five children (boys at that). I’m thinking she must have a full time substitute mom that raises them or something. She stuffs the dog in her handbag and scrunches her face up at Tim Gunn and is all, “I’m trying not to touch it.” What a bitch.

They all take the dogs back to the workroom and Angela tells us some ridiculous story about who her dog owner is (a British headmistress of an art camp in Paris called, get this, JUBILEE JUMBLES) and she’s throwing a party for Pattycake, who is a really really adorable brussels griffon. Robert tries for like 10 minutes to get his dog to sit still so he can photograph it. Laura’s dog is crawling all over her sketchpad and you can tell she just wants to throw it across the room. Vincent AKA Crazy Hat Man is already trying to put a hat on the dog, and it growls at him. See, it’s true. Dogs KNOW.

They go to Mood. Robert’s fabric reminds me of a Chanel suit and he tells us that it’s a mix between Jackie Kennedy and Barbie. I love this Robert guy. Kayne picks a really great Missoni print. Laura has a beige palette and takes the time to tell Robert and Kayne that “mine is so much more tasteful than yours!” Robert snappily comes back with, “Oh Laura, always mistaking taste and style.” Kayne tells us that hers is vanilla and his is rocky road. You know, Laura, I really admire your style and would love to be you when I grow up, but there are so many reasons why I never could make it into the club. Girl you are so judgmental!

Back in the workroom we see that Angela has raided the ugly section of the fat quarters at the fabric store and she interviews that she “went BALLS OUT” buying a bunch of fabrics to make rosettes. I’m just hoping she didn’t mean that literally and that her rosettes don’t actually look like testicles. Robert tells us his story about the Park Avenue princess who’s just checking into rehab and needs someone to look after her tiny dog for the weekend. He then tells us that he hates making up these stories because they are so stupid. Actually I loved his story the best, and pictured Charlotte from Sex & the City running across the street with her cavalier king charles spaniel, Elizabeth Taylor.

Bradley is looking more and more like Richard Dreyfus in Jaws. He looks a little stressed out and tells us that the lines he made were taking too long to sew so he had to change his idea. Commercials. We find out that next week is the episode where Tim Gunn kicks someone off the show for breaking the rules. FINALLY.

We come back and Jeffrey tells us that designing for a dog is no different than designing for a human and I start to be afraid for his model because I can totally see her crawling down the runway wearing a leash and collar. Vincent shows us a few more of his multiple personalities and is maniacally laughing and yes, BARKING because he loves his dog outfit so much. And what has he made for the dog, but a really cute coat and a HAT. He is barking, and saying “GOOD BOY” and holding the dog hat up to the dog’s photograph. It’s seriously frightening. I think one of his other personalities is tickling him because he can’t stop laughing.

Bradley tells everyone that it’s his birthday tomorrow, and his good buddy Jeffrey muses that “what if Bradley got OUT on his birthday. I’m just sayin.” And everyone thinks he’s an asshole. Keith interviews that Angela’s outfit looks like a big bag of skittles, “purple and pink and scary.” After a game of duck-duck-goose in the sewing room Keith finally sits down and starts using Michael’s sewing machine. No wait, it must have been Laura’s because she goes after him. No wait, it IS Michael’s and Laura bows up at Keith saying, “I’m just tryin to protect MAH MAN!” Laura, was that yourblack voice? If I was Michael, I’d have slapped you right about then. Laura interviews that Keith is a “major shithead” and Keith tells us that Laura is a “bad mommy.” He kind of creeps me out when he says this, like he’s said it before. A lot.

Bradley mentions that things are getting spicy and he’s just trying to “stay clear of storms.” Yeah Bradley, don’t be falling overboard in a storm while there are sharks circling nearby. You might need a bigger boat. Uli interviews that she’s going for funky cool with both the girl and the dog. Keith says that he’s not making an outfit for the dog because “accessorizing the dog is sooooo lame.” Angela is clearly making the same stupid bubble skirt she wore for the last episode, but this one’s lavender with rosettes. I think she’s hoping she gets to keep the clothes she’s making, cause she would totally wear that.

Tim Gunn tells Bradley he doesn’t get his design, and that it’s not pretty. “It must be redone.” Uli has designed a little vest for the pug that says “Hi Ladies!” for the judges. I totally want one of those for Kyla, it’s so cute. Bradley is having more trouble, and Vincent shares with all of us that “Bradley likes to jump off bridges and find things as he falls.” Or at least that’s what the blender and the microwave told him before they also instructed him to cash in his 401K and try his hand at fashion and reality TV. This guy is really insane.

Bradley says that he would rather show nothing than show something he’s not proud of. His garment looks like he just cut it out. I don’t see anything sewn together. He says, “I’m in the water.” Bradley! Water! Sharks!

The next day, Angela is wearing yet another bubble skirt. I think she forgot she was making one for the model. Alison says that she’s confident and passionate about this challenge and she wants to win. Laura interviews that the dog was very patient while they tried to put on her coat “without strangling her” and as she rolls her eyes, you can tell she really would have been okay with strangling that dog because then it wouldn’t be around to annoy her and get fur on her cocktail dress.

Cut to the runway. Michael Kors is gone again this week and I’m so sad because I really couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say about Jubilee Jumbles. Vera Wang is back, plus Nina Garcia and Ivanka Trump (does she own a dog?). Keith rolls his eyes when they introduce her.

The models walk. Standout designs: Uli’s dress is an adorable mix of fabrics and the dog’s coat is so so cute. Nina Garcia grins at the dog. Bradley’s outfit surprisingly came out really well, it reminded me of something I saw in the latest Lucky magazine, that big voluminous top with a straight bottom. Bradley interviews that he’s happy with his outfit because his model didn’t go nude down the runway he just hopes he doesn’t “get swept into the jaws of the judges.” Bradley, we all know how the movie ends, you will be okay. Michael’s dress was gorgeous with a unique neckline, an open back, very tailored. Vincent’s dog clearly hated the outfit, especially the hat, as it had a seizure the entire length of the runway. The model was wearing a simple black tank dress and black leggings. I’m wondering where the design is in this one, other than the dog’s coat. Angela interviews that she’s proud of what she did, which was a top that looked like it was made from a trash bag with 70s tapestry trim, and the bag of skittles skirt. Keith’s dress looked like the same one he made the first week, but it had a collar. The dog was naked. Alison’s model looked very sophisticated and the hair was awesome.

Heidi calls out Alison, Bradley, Keith, Angela, Katherine and Uli. The others are safe. The judges tell Uli that they love her use of pattern, her good fit and how she femmed up an otherwise butchy dog. She tells them her girl loves to party and shop and they love the playful back of her dress.

They tell Katherine they like the dog’s outfit more than the girl’s and I have to agree. She made the most adorable hoodie for the dog, but decided she had to make a dress for the girl, which ended up being a really basic slip dress. Why not make sportswear for the girl to match the dog?! You clearly could have pulled that off. Heidi calls it “blah.” Nina Garcia spots an uneven hem, and it’s all over for her.

Alison tells us that her girl is a Japanese woman who works in the fashion industry and is in Bryant Park for fashion week to work as a buyer, and Pepito the dog is traveling with her. I am enthralled by her story and the outfit is adorable. Vera Wang loves the idea, Heidi tells her it’s modern, chic and cool.

Now we get to Angela, and she’s basically twins with her model. Heidi is a bit more diplomatic about it and says “she looks like she’s going exactly where you’re going!” I’m overwhelmed by the bubble skirts and I really wish Michael Kors were here to make some bitchy comment because I’m just at a loss for words. She tells the stupid Jubilee Jumbles story and admits this hoochy dresser will be working with kids as young as six. They ask why she’s dressed like a streetwalker. Heidi calls her raunchy.

Bradley is about ready to step on his dog who has been barking loudly the whole time, and Heidi tells Stanley the dog that he’s been a very bad boy, and all the male viewers also start drooling along with the dogs. Heidi you are so hot. Nina Garcia likes his outfit’s simplicity and structure and wants to shoot it for Elle.

They like Keith’s dress but want to know why the dog is naked. He tells them that because it’s a rare breed it doesn’t need babydoll clothes. Heidi’s annoyed, and Keith tells them he made “many, many outfits” for the dog (to which Alison shakes her head). He tries to play it off like he made the dog’s collar which looks like woven gold leather. Heidi gets up to inspect and calls him out, to which he admits he only made a tiny scrap of fabric attached to the dog collar.

The judges deliberate. Uli wins and I’m so pleased. Alison is in and looks pissed that she didn’t win. Bradley is also in. Keith is in, they tell him he might have won if he’d clothed the dog. He interviews that it made no sense that he didn’t win, because there was no good execution on the stage except his. That ego is really going to bite him in the butt at some point.

Angela and Katherine are left on the stage. They call Katie’s poorly executed and uninspired. They tell Angela’s hers was way over the top and they question her taste level. Angela is in and Katie is out.

Katherine interviews that out of all the pieces she made on the show she feels this was the most inspired and she liked what she made, which is the best way to go.

Next week, they will be thrust into a “real world industry experience” for the challenge, and we also get the drama of someone breaking the rules, Kayne having a bad hair day and Robert is totally exasperated about something. Can’t wait.

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